Being home for the Holidays, I have had some time to think, to relax, and to blog. I know it has been awhile, but when weighing the importance about reading about Karl Marx and trying to convince the world that I am funny, unfortunately Marx came out as more important-again. Life is tough.
I have been bouncing around thoughts in my brain about my next blog topic I was thinking about writing about how the shows on TLC are always creepy like sisterwives and John and Kate plus 8, need I say more, those are two of the worst shows ever put on television. No offence too those who are fans, but Sisterwives are about make the prison they get sent too there new home of polygamy and John and Kate plus 8 well lets just say there is no more John and Kate just the two of them and there sketchy ass mates. I feel like I could offend a few people with this one, so I decided to skip this blog topic.
Then sitting here on the sofa in my living room surrounded by my family. My mom cooking in the kitchen, my dad sitting in one of the sofa chairs, and my sister sitting in the sofa chair with her feet propped up on the foot rest, remote right next to her and my parents asking her all about her fascinating job-needless to say I am UNEMPLOYED, the greatest blog topic came to mind.
Then while writing this, I looked at the Christmas Tree and of course her gifts wrapped so neatly are already under the tree. I guess I’m going to have to invest in wrapping paper this year.
This blog is dedicated to the youngest child. Yea you know who you are, you are the one that has to repeat themselves at the dinner table, that has a super loud voice because you had to talk over everyone just to be heard, the one that’s name is always forgotten…Just kidding the only thing out of these claims that is true about me is that I have a super loud voice, no ones fault but my own.
But no, the blog is about the mastermind: the youngest child. There are many days of the year that youngest children favor, the best one is there birthday because their wish of having all the attention in the family is granted, but events that I love even more than my Birthdays are the Holidays. Holidays to me as the youngest are like bones to a dog, a heater in the winter, vodka in a cosmo. They are the belvedere of all the bottles. Let me tell you why. Christmas decorations are probably one of the best creations ever. Thank you Christ. Nativity sets, ornaments on the tree, stockings, and family Christmas pictures. These all speak to the world as beautiful, festive, and fun. To me these mean along with all those fun adjectives equal prank time.
It was 2005, I was sophomore in high school and living in Singapore. Our nativity set was out. Most people as sourced by (answers.com) have Jesus in the center the angel behind him and Mary and Joe(Joseph) on each side. The Sheppard and their animals are near Joe and the three wise men, and then there is little baby Jesus in the cradle. Well thinking that no one really payed attention to the nativity set especially my family who last went to church together in 1996, I decided that I was going to create a modern nativity set. Little baby Jesus was going to go to the zoo and hang out with the Sheppard’s pets, and then the other peeps would go elsewhere. I thought my idea was creative and fresh. It took my family a week to find out. So great. When they did find out. Not so great.
One of my favorite things to do during Christmas is to have ultimate power with the ornaments on the tree. I made an angel in first grade out of a paper plate, which is probably one of the most artistic things I have ever done. I think making this successfully is one of my parent’s proudest memories of me (I was the slow kid), so it has been saved every year. My sister is anti-my angel, and always tries to get it booted of the tree. Well let me just tell you that Nicole has been succesfull in most things she has attempted, but not the angel on the tree, and not the middle school basketball team (I am sorry-I hope you have moved on). Then there are the ornaments you make every year till about sixth grade they have your picture in the middle and are really cool. Well Nicole has three and I have two. You would think because she has made more her face would be more prominent on the Christmas tree. Well it is the first time the tree gets decorated-which is by my dad-while we all sit and watch (sorry we are lazy). Then when no one is looking. I take Nicole’s face ornaments off the front of the tree and put them in the back. I did this about five days ago this year, and she’s still back there. SUCCESS.
So to all of you who are reading who are last out of the womb, when you think Holidays are tough because your sister is back from her really successful job and you have to sit there in envy at the dinner table. I give you the advice of this go toy around with the Christmas tree, give baby Jesus a new home, and hide some ornaments. It many not get you the special plate, but it will get you noticed. Which is all we really want anyways.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
